I feel like, I have come a long way in the last 3 years. As I reflect on the choices I have made in life, I keep coming back to the theory that our minds create the reality and reality is only a by product of our minds.
About 3 and a half years ago, I got dismissed from law school for a combination of grades and other stuff that I won’t disclose. I remember feeling no remorse for my actions in law school, I didn’t feel bad at all for being dismissed.
I felt more relieved. I didn’t take law school very seriously and to be honest I thought it was made up of a bunch of pretentious clowns who were drenched in some falsely perceived self righteousness that I just didn’t believe in. This is just another story in itself.
Up until I went to law school I was scared of failing. I put so much time and effort into preventing failure that I put less time into making things successful. I feel like law school was an incredible learning experience for me and in a weird way a turning point.
From law school, I then moved back to New Jersey, to be close to family. I thought from there, my path would be to work in online advertising in some facet and live in NYC and have the quote on quote YUPPY life-style that most intelligent kids from the suburbs always fall into.
You get the job you hate that makes the cash you crave, the phony friends who are only friends because they live in your vicinity, the dog you love, the girlfriend, the wife, and then you move back to the suburbs once you have the child. I thought I was going 100% on the YUPPY route. Maybe I should have done that, who knows.
It turns out I saw some success in stand up comedy, while continuously performing open mikes all over the NYC area. I decided to take it seriously and pursue it. It was a crazy path to take and sometimes I think what if I never went on stage, I wouldn’t be where I am today.
To pursue this rather monotonous path, I thought it would be prudent to move to Los Angeles ASAP.
I didn’t know anyone in LA, I had a couple of Facebook friends who lived out there but never really spent any serious time there. All I remembered about Los Angeles from my one prior visit was the amazing weather, great Mexican food, the fact that every women I met had blonde hair, and the traffic. Here I was taking this crazy adventure.
I remember coming to LA with very little cash, actually only $1,000 cash to my name. In essence, I was living the dream.
The first place I moved to was Redondo Beach a by product of Craigslist. I was living with these 2 lesbians which I’ll never forget. I actually thought this was the life that most successful comedians/actors had to go through, live with 2 crazy lesbians and you pass go and success is right around the corner.
Again I was wrong.
Even though I had a little bit of cash to my name, the reality I had built in my mind was that I had zero money and even the thought of spending $40 on a nice dinner was out of the question. At this time, you could say I was in survival mode only because of the reality that I had built in my mind and the interconnection between money and survival that I had conjured up.
Fast forward to now, not much has changed in my life other than a couple more years of life experience. I am still both a very similar sarcastic and neurotic person.
The main thing that changed is the reality being created in my mind, instead of being in survival mode I am in “creation mode” or the mode of continuous creating.
What to take away from this post is no matter how you feel right now, tomorrow will always be better and tomorrow will always be a different feeling and your reality will change as your mind evolves. It never goes as planned and it never will, just continually put yourselves around people that make you happy and things will fall into place.