Sometimes when you hear really sad news, it gives you flash backs to your childhood and you start feeling guilty about some of the things that you didn’t really appreciate at the time that were done or given to you.
I guess you could say I was a very “misunderstood” child . As the story goes, after getting suspended in 4th grade, my mom didn’t know what to do with me and against my will she took me to see a therapist. I always had this fundamental distrust for pretty much everybody as a kid, no real reason. Hence, the whole going to see a therapist thing didn’t really go as planned starting off. As I was sitting in his office even as an 8 year old kid, I remember thinking to myself does this guy really think I’m stupid? Does he really believe I am going to talk to him about my personal life?
The first 4 times I went there for about an hour session, there was just complete silence in the room. On the 4th session, Dr.Dovel (my therapist) not being to content about making free money from a silent child, broke our silence and offered to take me to the corner market to purchase some snacks which included Cheetos, Jolly Ranchers, and Dr.Pepper.
From then on, trust was given. As i prefaced earlier, sometimes we don’t really appreciate what’s given to us at the time of reception. Fast forward to 2007, I was 22 years old and pretty much taking over shit. Business, money, women and whatever you want to call it. I’m home visiting my mom, and I get a phone call and at the other end of the line a voice breaks the news that my grandma had just passed away. Distraught, saddened, overwhelmed all of the above, I do what I always do in situations of this kind disappear and just get out on my own.
I end up just driving far far away. Later that night, I ended up getting pulled over in my car for no apparent reason, I then not knowingly submitted to alcohol test. I had no drugs or alcohol in my system, so all was cool on that front. Still very distraught though with a loved one passing, I started letting the cop who pulled me over, know how much of a piece of $hit he was for giving me a hard time. Wasn’t a very good idea, looking back on it.
It turns out, he didn’t like me very much. He ended up single handedly trying to pin a whole bunch of rather useless charges against me, my only way out from the possibility of going to jail for a short stint, was a psychological evaluation and the one who person who believed and stood up for me was my therapist. He submitted paperwork on my behalf and helped walk me through all the legal process’s to get everything discharged. I didn’t understand this, but he really put his name on the line in vouching for me. Looking back , I feel like I didn’t do enough to thank him.
Yesterday, I got the sad news that Dr.Dovel is on life support and is dying from brain cancer.
I wonder, if he ever understood the positive influence he’s had on my life. He was one of the few people in my rather tumultuous childhood that really believed in me no matter what stupid actions I committed and there were a lot of stupid actions. Tonight I just feel thankful that he was a part of my life.